Journey To My Daughter is a memoir that reads like a novel. On the surface, it is the true story of my quest to become a mother. I describe my own experience of miscarriages and the adoption of my daughter, Hilary. No two journeys or adoptions themselves are the same. I’m sure some are quite unremarkable while others may be bizarre or extraordinary. My own experience was closer to the second type. It includes a whirlwind trip to Hanoi, Vietnam as well as an endless amount of mundane paperwork. I wrote about all of this.
In writing and editing this book a more subtle but significant theme emerged. The other story told in this book is that of a shift in my own attitude. I began by not wanting children at all, progressed through a decision that I wanted to be a mother, and later became almost obsessed with this goal. I tried to do whatever I could to force the world to “give” me a child. I ignored the signals, both subtle and overt, when they showed me I was heading down the wrong path. By the end of the book, I was able to be more flexible and follow the signs leading me towards my goal of motherhood. I have a core belief that the universe will help us see what direction we should be headed. We can choose to ignore and fight these signs, as I did in the beginning of the story, or we can allow these clues to help guide us down an easier path, as I tried to do towards the end of the book.
I originally wrote this story down to tell a story about adoption. I wanted to help other adoptive families to maintain faith and hope through the very difficult waiting time before finding their child. I definitely hope the story can help these families. However, I now see that many others may benefit from reading the story. Anyone struggling with a decision or direction may find some inspiration and an illustration of how the universe spoke to me. Still others may just be entertained by reading about a harrowing journey with a happy ending.
This is the story as I remember it. Some of the names, places, details and exact conversations have been changed or omitted. In some cases this is to protect the identity of the people mentioned, and in others is simply because I don’t actually recall the details and did my best to create dialog or other details to be consistent with the story.